LOVE is in the air
For the first few years of our relationship, everywhere Garrett and I went, people would ask us if we were in town to put on a LOVE convention. Our relationship was pure bliss, a fairytale. Not to say there weren’t small moments of disagreement but somehow LOVE always conquered and whatever the issue was we realized it was minor and didn’t really matter.
This video sums it all up pretty well and shows what a romantic at heart Mr. McNamara is:
Everything changed the moment our son, Barrel, was born. I’m not sure if it was because subconsciously Garrett felt replaced or that he thought my heart couldn’t love them both. It really doesn’t matter. All that mattered was that our relationship became “work.”
The word WORK gets a bad rap. If you are doing what you love then work is fun. Some people love their work so much they get lost and loose track of time. So just because you get to work on something doesn’t mean it is a bad thing, or depressing, or negative.
So, YES! After my baby was born I GOT and continue to GET to work on my relationship. Some days are easier than others and some days it feels like the world might end, but for the most part I think I have an incredible partner that supports all my dreams, is unwaveringly loyal and loves his family with his whole heart.
I am not a licensed therapist nor do I consider myself an expert. All I know is what has worked for our life and when applied it does wonders. That is the key… actually doing the work. Making the relationship the priority over everything else. When writing my goals for this year the top one was “Happy Healthy Marriage.”
It takes two to tango! You will see a difference if it is your goal but the greatest change will be when it is a priority for both partners. BOTH partners must show up to “work” everyday. I do believe that is what has kept our partnership so strong, we both make our relationship a priority and are willing to do the INNER work on ourselves to show up as more present loving partners.
I wanted to share a couple other tidbits that have helped us along our journey.
1- Discovering your own love language and your partners love language which you can do here https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/ I personally feel an affinity to all 5 of them but if I had to pick it would be Quality time. For Garrett its definitely physical touch and words of affirmation.
2- What has really taken our relationship… really our life to another level is Human Design. Understanding each other’s energy type and how we best move through the world has released so much judgment and resentment we were placing on one another. Learn your energy type and learn your partner’s … your children, your friends. It will change your life.
3- Lastly, when you're having a hard day “working” and you feel like quitting write down or just stop and think about when you fell in love. What was it about your significant other that made you fall madly in love with them. What are your favorite qualities about them? Transport yourself to the first months of courting, let that feeling take over. It really really works. Focus on the beauty!
4- And lastly, for real this time… DATE NIGHTS, so important. They sound cliche but they WORK!!! Within 10 mins of being alone with Garrett, with no responsibilities, we instantly go back to being young and in love!!! It is an instant reset and refresh. DO IT!!! Schedule that date night and have fun!!!
AND remember we are here on this planet to CREATE, PLAY, and ENJOY!!! Life doesn’t have to be nor should it be hard. Know that you are a limitless being, capable of anything you desire. YOU are LOVE!!! Go be LOVE and SPREAD LOVE and it will come back to you!